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Monday, 23 April 2012

MANAGERS KA PUNCHNAMA…!!!


Problem, problem ye hai ki wo manager hai aur ,mein resource,
Problem ye hai ki mein chahta hoon ki meri life mein koi problem hi na ho,
Lekin agar meri life mein koi problem na ho to ye uski life ki sabse badi problem hai.
Bull shit he is worried yaar, use to celebrate karna chahiye, because it happens exactly what he wants
Kasam se yaar is 6 mahine mein I had it all sab dekh liya maine,
Abe kaun sa job kaisa project kahe ka increament,
Job ka matlab hi hota hai End of ur own happiness.
Iske baad all u worried about deployment, late night work,increament,client calls
Shaam ka dhalta suraj jo pehle hum bhi kabhi dekhte the,
In managers ko na,…. koi khush nahi rakh sakta , A happy manager is a myth.
Sab saala na,… bahar lage bade bade hoardings ka dosh hai,
4 years engg. Badi si degree and then job kahani khatam,
Uske baad ki kahani koi nahi batata, Iske baad ki kahani mein batata hoon,
Iske baad banda 2 ghante late aaya to problem,
Late night ruka to problem.
Saala demands and expectations kahatam nahi hoti inki,
ek to jo high priorty task hota hai na wo nahi batayenge,
2 week dimaag chatenge document banao document banao,
aur fir jab document bana ke do to 2 sadi si line ka mail lekhenge ,
we’ll discuss in call,
aur fir agle do hafte dimaag khayenge Document document.
Saala kaam kar raha hoon beech mein mail aa jata hai “Look into this also”,
Mail ka reply deta hoon sir abhi busy hoon baad mein dekh lunga,
then again mail, do the same first, 1 baar isko dekh lo,
1 baar dekh bhi lunga to tujhe kya mil jayega mere baap, theek se to kar paunga nahi.
Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi to in bina resource wale project ne ki hai,gale ka patta hai saala,
Naye, purane, Band hone wale saare project resource wohi 2,
are kaam jayada aa jane se ghante thodi na badh jate hain 1 din mein,
Fir iska jawab in managers ko bhi i think u r not intrested in project,
Why I chose u in this project, (are mujhe kya pata ki why u chose me?,
abe jab samajh mein aa hi raha hai to phir release kyun nahi kar dete.)
Saala pata nahi kaam kya karte hain ye manager?
2 mail reply mat kar,
urgent extn par call aayega,
Ab pata chala ye software engineer ki aise halat kyun hoti hai,
Aur ye administrative job wale bande itne happy kyun hote hain,
because they don’t have a manager to screw that happiness.
Saala kaam kar raha hoon koi Pool to khel nahi raha phir bhi seat par aa aakar,
poochenge What r u doing..?,
Iske baad jaane se pahle inhe apna DSR bhejo tab ghar jao,
Kuch achcha implement karne se pehle 50 baar inse poocho,approval lo,
Aur agar kabhi thoda rest mil bhi jaye to again same question what r u doing…?,
Are kuch nahi kar raha mere baap ye soch raha hoon tujhe yahan se kaise bhagaoon.
Main tujhe bata raha hoon u never discuss anything with ur manager,
Because every discussion with a manager is an argument,
Aur bhai argument mein inse koi nahi jeet sakta,
because we are busy unke pass to koi kaam hai nahi aur senior persons hai,
to argument mein wo kaise haar man le.
Wo pure database delete mar de to koi dikaat nahi,
Lekin hum galti se 1 table delete kar dein to aasman toot jayega…!!!
@@@@@@@Kuch nahi ho sakta in Sofware engineers ka bhai@@@@@@@

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