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Monday, 30 April 2012

45 lessons life taught me……………


This article was written on one site and I really loved it and would like to my friends as well:
- Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
-When in doubt, just take the next small step.
-Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
-Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
-Pay off your credit cards every month.
-You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
-Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
- It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
- Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
-When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
-Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
- It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
-Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
- If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
- Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
-Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
- Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
- Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
- It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
-When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
- Over prepare, then go with the flow.
-Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
- No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
-Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”.
- Always choose life.
-Forgive everyone everything.
-What other people think of you is none of your business.
-Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
- However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
- Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
-Believe in miracles.
-God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
-Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
- Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
- Your children get only one childhood.
- All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
- Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
- If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
- Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
- The best is yet to come.
- No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
- Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.
Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Just TRY ONE MORE Time in a DIFFERENT way


Most of the people refuse to understand the secret code of success which is very simple -
“Just TRY ONE MORE Time in a DIFFERENT way.”

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Life of Software Engineer


3 log marne ke baad swarg ke derwaje per pahuche.
1ST bola: main pujari hu maine aapki zindgi bher sewa ki mujhe ander aane do.
God : next
2ND: main docter hu .maine logo ki zindgi bher sewa ki mujhe ander aane do.
God: next
3RD: main engineer hu.main ek software company me……………………
God :bas ker pagle. rulayega kya.chal ander aaja………

Friday, 27 April 2012

NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL….


Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.
Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a
UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the
things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of
families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting
troubles .
Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY

Thursday, 26 April 2012

A funny hospital call……


A woman called a local hospital. “Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I’d like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse.”
The voice on the other end said, “What is the patient’s name and room number?”
“Sarah Finkel, room 302.”
“I’ll connect you with the nursing station.”
“3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?”
“I’d like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302.”
“Just a moment. Let me look at her records. Mrs. Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she’s had two full meals, her blood pressure is fine. She is to be taken off the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her home Tuesday at noon.”
The woman said, “What a relief! Oh, that’s fantastic… that’s wonderful news!”
The nurse said, “From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close family member or a very close friend!”
“Neither I’m Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me anything!.”

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Sense of Humor in Interview


Interviewer said, ” I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”
The candidate thought for a while and said, ” My choice is one really difficult question.”
” Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!” said the interviewer.
Here is your question: ” What comes first, Day or Night?”
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to that one question. He thought for a while and said, ” It’s DAY sir!”
” How?” the interviewer asked.
” Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

Moral : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

SOME RULES CAN NOT BE FOLLOWED..


A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told
him to come into her office.
“What is your name?” was the first thing she asked the new guy.
“John,” the new guy replied.
She scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you
worked before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds
familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.
I refer to my employees by their last name only … Smith, Jones, Baker
…that’s all.
I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that
straight, what is your last name?”
The new guy sighed, “Darling………… My name is John Darling.”
“Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . .”

Monday, 23 April 2012

Sachin Tendulkar releases book on birthday

Sachin TendulkarSachin Tendulkar

Today(April 24th) is birthday of batting bhagwan Sachin Tendulkar who turned 39 this year launched a book called Sachin - A Tribute To The Legend dedicated to his 100th 100 recently made in the ASIA cup.
The book is published by The Hindu group, which was idealized after Tendulkar scored his 100th century. Tendulkar expressed his thanks to all the Team members,coach Robin Singh.
"It gives me immense pleasure to launch this book. All the efforts taken by The Hindu mean a lot to me. Over the years I have made lot of friends and they are dear ones. Our friendship has grown in a similar manner as The Hindu has grown. I cherish each and every moment I have shared with them," Tendulkar said.
"Reading various articles and opinions (in The Hindu) has played an important role in my career. I want to take this opportunity to thank you for putting this book together in a matter of few weeks. It's a mammoth effort and thank you very much," he added.
The book is said to have fine collection of all the reports of matches in which Tendulkar scored his 100 international centuries along with some rare moments pictures.
We wish Sachin Tendulkar a long life ahead.

MANAGERS KA PUNCHNAMA…!!!


Problem, problem ye hai ki wo manager hai aur ,mein resource,
Problem ye hai ki mein chahta hoon ki meri life mein koi problem hi na ho,
Lekin agar meri life mein koi problem na ho to ye uski life ki sabse badi problem hai.
Bull shit he is worried yaar, use to celebrate karna chahiye, because it happens exactly what he wants
Kasam se yaar is 6 mahine mein I had it all sab dekh liya maine,
Abe kaun sa job kaisa project kahe ka increament,
Job ka matlab hi hota hai End of ur own happiness.
Iske baad all u worried about deployment, late night work,increament,client calls
Shaam ka dhalta suraj jo pehle hum bhi kabhi dekhte the,
In managers ko na,…. koi khush nahi rakh sakta , A happy manager is a myth.
Sab saala na,… bahar lage bade bade hoardings ka dosh hai,
4 years engg. Badi si degree and then job kahani khatam,
Uske baad ki kahani koi nahi batata, Iske baad ki kahani mein batata hoon,
Iske baad banda 2 ghante late aaya to problem,
Late night ruka to problem.
Saala demands and expectations kahatam nahi hoti inki,
ek to jo high priorty task hota hai na wo nahi batayenge,
2 week dimaag chatenge document banao document banao,
aur fir jab document bana ke do to 2 sadi si line ka mail lekhenge ,
we’ll discuss in call,
aur fir agle do hafte dimaag khayenge Document document.
Saala kaam kar raha hoon beech mein mail aa jata hai “Look into this also”,
Mail ka reply deta hoon sir abhi busy hoon baad mein dekh lunga,
then again mail, do the same first, 1 baar isko dekh lo,
1 baar dekh bhi lunga to tujhe kya mil jayega mere baap, theek se to kar paunga nahi.
Sabse jyada dimaag ki dahi to in bina resource wale project ne ki hai,gale ka patta hai saala,
Naye, purane, Band hone wale saare project resource wohi 2,
are kaam jayada aa jane se ghante thodi na badh jate hain 1 din mein,
Fir iska jawab in managers ko bhi i think u r not intrested in project,
Why I chose u in this project, (are mujhe kya pata ki why u chose me?,
abe jab samajh mein aa hi raha hai to phir release kyun nahi kar dete.)
Saala pata nahi kaam kya karte hain ye manager?
2 mail reply mat kar,
urgent extn par call aayega,
Ab pata chala ye software engineer ki aise halat kyun hoti hai,
Aur ye administrative job wale bande itne happy kyun hote hain,
because they don’t have a manager to screw that happiness.
Saala kaam kar raha hoon koi Pool to khel nahi raha phir bhi seat par aa aakar,
poochenge What r u doing..?,
Iske baad jaane se pahle inhe apna DSR bhejo tab ghar jao,
Kuch achcha implement karne se pehle 50 baar inse poocho,approval lo,
Aur agar kabhi thoda rest mil bhi jaye to again same question what r u doing…?,
Are kuch nahi kar raha mere baap ye soch raha hoon tujhe yahan se kaise bhagaoon.
Main tujhe bata raha hoon u never discuss anything with ur manager,
Because every discussion with a manager is an argument,
Aur bhai argument mein inse koi nahi jeet sakta,
because we are busy unke pass to koi kaam hai nahi aur senior persons hai,
to argument mein wo kaise haar man le.
Wo pure database delete mar de to koi dikaat nahi,
Lekin hum galti se 1 table delete kar dein to aasman toot jayega…!!!
@@@@@@@Kuch nahi ho sakta in Sofware engineers ka bhai@@@@@@@

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Love Marriage Vs Arrange Marriage


LOVE MARRIAGE KA MATLAB HAI,
APNI GIRLFRIEND KO WIFE BANANA,,
AUR
…ARRANGE MARRIAGE KA MATLAB!!!! ????
SOCHO… SOCHO… SOCHO…
!
!!
!!!
!!!!
KISI AUR KI GIRLFRIEND KO WIFE BANANA… :)

Saturday, 21 April 2012

A Story of Real Friendship


A boy was late 2 home…
His Father-kaha tha tu?
Boy: friend ke yaha tha..
then Father called his 10 friends….
4 answered – yes, yahi par tha
3 answered – yehi tha, abhi abhi nikla hai
2 answered – Yehi hai uncle, padh raha hai, phone du?
1 answered – Haan papa main bol raha hoon…

Friday, 20 April 2012

Funny Sucide Story


A tough biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to shoot herself, so he stops.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“I’m going to commit suicide,” she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn’t want to miss an opportunity, he asked “Well, before you shoot, why don’t you give me a kiss?”
So, she does.
After she’s finished, the biker says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That’s a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous! Why are you committing suicide?”
My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.
::Laughter is the best medicine…… ::

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Why do women cry?


A little boy asked his mother, ‘Why are you crying?’ ‘Because I’m a woman,’ she told him.
‘I don’t understand,’ he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, ‘And you never will.’
Later the little boy asked his father, ‘Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?’
‘All women cry for no reason,’ was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, ‘God, why do women cry so easily?’
God said:
‘When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.’
‘You see my son,’ said God, ‘the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.’

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Never Reject


NEVER reject 3 people :-
LEO, GEMINI, AQUARIOUS .
They are true, honest friends…!
NEVER believe in 3 people :-
SAGITTARIUS, ARIES, PISCES.
They are the most selfish &
mean.
NEVER lose 3 people :-
TAURUS, CANCER,CAPRICORN.
They r the most sincere n true
lovers…!
NEVER leave 3 people :
VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO.
They can keep secrets,frndship, they can
never see ur tears..

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

A Cup of Coffee, A CUP of LIFE


A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to
visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into
complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned
with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups:
porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and
exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said:
“If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up,
leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you
to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems
and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the
cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each
other’s cups.”
“Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are
the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the
quality of Life doesn’t change.”
“Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee
in it.”
So folks, don’t let the cups drive you…enjoy the coffee instead.

Monday, 16 April 2012

Do You Know Ur Value….???


A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a Rupees 500 note.
In the room of 200, he asked, “Who would like this Rupees 500 note?”
Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this note to one of you but first let me do this.” He proceeded to crumple the note up. He then asked, “Who still wants it?”Still the hands were up in the air.
“Well,” he replied, “What if I do this?” And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. “Now who still wants it?”
Still the hands went into the air.
“My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.
No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth Rupees 500/-.. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.You are special. Don’t ever forget it! Never let yesterday’s disappointments overshadow tomorrow’s dreams.

“VALUE HAS A VALUE ONLY IF ITS VALUE IS VALUED”

“”Never Believe with the lines of your hand predict about your future,because people who don’t have hands also have a future….. Believe in yourself”"